The Ultimate List of Silly Guinea Pig Names

Good day to you, silly guinea pig owners! I certainly hope that’s you, because if it’s not, you’re about to be very c...
The Ultimate List of Silly Guinea Pig Names

Good day to you, silly guinea pig owners! I certainly hope that’s you, because if it’s not, you’re about to be very confused.

Today’s topic, both grandiose and trivial, delightfully low-stakes globally, yet hugely consequential within your personal life and social circles:


SILLY THINGS TO NAME YOUR GUINEA PIG!


Guinea pigs are arguably one of the silly pets to own. They’re food obsessed, a little ditsy, have funny hair, and still garner our undying love.

With the loftiness of today’s blog, I’d like to state now, that this list is going to be ever growing and evolving. Please add your own names to the comments, and they’ll be added to the body of the blog periodically.

In the meantime, here are a few names to get you started:

Guinea Pig Celebrity Names: 

  • Brad Pigg
  • Guineffer Aniston
  • Chubby Cheeker
  • Wheeks Bentley 
  • Leonardo DiCapigrio
  • Tom Whiskers
  • Julia Rodent
  • Johnny Deppig
  • Charlize TherodentMorgan Freepig
  • Kristen Bell Pepper
  • Gwen Stefurry
  • Guinea Davis Jr.
  • Cavy Crawford
  • Matthew McCona-haystack
  • Piggy Azalea
  • Cavy Styles
  • Mark Floofalo
  • Cavy Fisher
  • Guinea-ta Nyong'o

And always favorite among silly name enthusiasts…

  • Benedict Cavybatch/Cavydict CabbageRats/BeneWheeks Cucumberpatch


That last one sort of went off the rails a bit, didn’t it? It starts to elicit that age-old question: “If you replace every part of a ship… is it still the same actor?”

Today’s celebrity honorable mentions go to: Will Ferret and Scarlett Johampster.


Always ripe with comedic effect, let's look at some animal names that present a contrast with our cute little cavvies (or just make no sense at all):

Mismatched Animal Names
The Kraken

Elephant

Moby Dick

Baby Beluga 

Manfred (after the wooly mammoth from "Ice Age")

Jupiter the Gas Giant (after the planet)

Brontosaurus (“Bronty” for short)



Food items they resemble

Peanut

Fudge

Brownie Found Under a Couch

Raisin
Eggplant

Marshmallow

Sausage
Bread Loaf

Beefsteak


One of the endlessly delightful variations of this is, of course:

B
ody Parts Combined with Foodstuffs:

(I’d like to give a special thanks to Guinea Parents Betty, Linda, & Glen, and their guinea pig “Feetloaf”, for inspiring this lofty category.)

PotatoHands
NoodleArms
PeachFuzz
GrapeCheeks
And of course, Buttsandwich


For those piggies who need a bit of encouragement, try…

Names With Titles to Boost Their Self-Esteem
- Maxwell, King of the Andes
- Thor
- Conan the Barbarian
- Alexander the small but still Great
- Buffy the Veggie Slayer

Celebrities with Gravitas

Judie Dench
Idris Elba
Stockard Channing
Alec Guiness
Lupita Nyongo
Daniel Craig
Benicio Del Toro
Michelle Yeoh


Disgraced Celebrities Casualties of the MeToo Era
Just kidding! These guys don’t get fun guinea pig names. Times Up, chumps!

Famous People with Funny Hair Styles
Robert Smith (The Cure)
Flock of Seaguls
ZZ Top
Iggy Pop
Madonna
Cindy Lauper


Public Figures Famous for Their Intellect

Neil DeGrasse Tyson
Marie Curie
Magnus Carlsen
Simone De Beuvoir
Jonas Salk
Jessica Simpson
Steven Hawking


Keep an eye out for this list to grow! And we’ll see you next time, GuineaGang!

~ GuineaDad




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11 comments

My college kiddo named our reddish orange crested Squeak Potato … it’s perfect!

Carol Shay Hornung

I have 4 boys Hiro, Kenzo, Meeko and Alfie ♥

Gianna

I HAVE A GINGER AND A
BANDIT.

Rosalia A Britt

Nacho, Meatloaf, Candy Corn, and Cookie Oven are all instant classics! I feel like there’s so much creativity in the cavy community!

Nick

We named ours Nacho and Meatloaf!

Mindy

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